I Have the Worst Luck with Cars, Part XVIII: The Fourth Is Rubber

This weekend brought with it the celebration of the fourth year of my marriage to Three, a wonderful human being that I am privileged to know and love. And, of course, since it's us, our anniversary also involves a car's minor destruction.

I suppose this requires a bit of back story. Without delving too deeply into specifics, Three has been looking for another job for a few months now ... well, when he can, which is pretty much never, since he was given no vacation or sick time when he took this new job back in April, but it wasn't until a few weeks ago that anything came up. Then, an old friend gave texted him, letting him know about a job opportunity in South Carolina. Three, desperate to change his situation, sent his resume over and nailed an interview on November 15. Coincidentally, that date is also our anniversary, so we decided to make a trip of it. After all, the company interviewing him was paying us for our gas and for our hotel room.

So, there we were. His interview had gone well*, we'd just eaten some exceptionally good Indian food, and were headed back to the hotel to watch some sort of movie when BAM. Out of nowhere, a big curb jutted out into what appeared to be a driving lane. The car was knocked around, and when I pulled to a stop - because of COURSE I was driving - Three jumped out to examine the damage.


Yes, friends. I had successfully removed the tire from the rim on the back passenger wheel. Poor Fancy was pitifully sitting right on the metal.

Now, we have learned from past experiences. We have Good Sam roadside assistance (so much better than AAA, and cheaper! You should check them out.), so Three called as he was the calmer of the two of us, a definite change in roles here, but I had just fucked up our tire. It was a Saturday night, so every place that might have been able to help us was closed, but Firestone (I know, Firestone, but we didn't really have a choice here) would be available in the morning. We scheduled the tow truck to arrive around 11A so we could be taken to Firestone by noon, because hahahaha we had to be back in Louisville so both Three and I could get to work on Monday. We walked two miles to return to our hotel, and oh, yeah, we had Zola in tow (yay for pet-friendly hotels).

Three had discovered the day before that we wouldn't receive a reimbursement check until he officially started work, which is fine, but we were running really low on money and had only budgeted enough for the trip and maybe a run to the grocery store. Not really a lot of wiggle room for a new tire, because as we discovered the following morning, there was a puncture all the way through the tire. No way it could just be popped back onto the rim. So I did the only thing I could: I called my mother, who was gracious enough to offer to help us pay for whatever needed fixing. It took an hour or so to install the new tire, and when my mom paid via credit card over the phone, she asked to speak to me.

Me: Hey, Mom, thank you so much. I really appreciate this.
Mom: Think of this as an anniversary present.
Me: So the fourth is rubber?
Mom: Huh?
Me: You know, like for anniversary presents. Year one is, what? Paper?
Mom: (laughs) Yep. The fourth is rubber.

And that's the new tradition, according to Juju. Take notes, guys.

* We're probably going to be moving to South Carolina by the end of the month, which should be fun. I'm going to be a little on the insane side, and by a little, I mean, OMG I WILL BE CHAOS INCARNATE.