Yesterday, I watched as two of my adorable kittens went to their forever homes. I didn't really think it would affect me as much as it has, and a part of me wishes that I didn't have to give them away. But then the other part of me is like, "Juj, you would then have nine cats, and dear God, are you insane?" It's just that they've been such a huge part of my life since June, and now, as I look around the house, it seems a little emptier.
Princess Peach joined the family of a co-worker with a new wife and two kids*. A few hours later, I got a pic texted to me of her in her new home. Apparently, she was a little snippy when she was introduced to their dog, but that's to be expected, as I told them. Still, she looked happy and comfortable, as much as a kitten transplanted into a whole new location could.
The hardest, though? A friend of the other woman was also in the market for a kitten for her daughter, and when they came along with Peaches' new mom, they immediately fell in love with Tyrol. I don't know if I've already mentioned this on my blog, but Tyrol had totally buddied up with me, and I had planned on keeping him (Three picked Mushroom as his kitty). He always greeted me when I came home from work or from the store, and he slept on me every night. But when I saw the eyes of the little girl and her mom as they bonded with Tyrol, though, I took a second, sighed, and told them that they could take him home with them, even after telling them that we were keeping him. They kept telling me that they didn't want to take my pet, but I knew. I just knew that Tyrol would be so happy with them.
After they left, I had a smile on my face, thrilled to know that both of those kittens were going to be safe and loved, but after about an hour, I looked over at the remaining four kittens and realized that both of them were gone. I think I would have been okay had it just been Peach and another one of the kittens, but not seeing Tyrol cuddled up with his siblings just sent me over the edge. Three hugged me and told me he was proud of what I had done, but I couldn't stop the tears. It had only been sixty damn minutes, and I already missed the little fucker. None of the other animals showing me affection helped, although they all tried (animals know, you guys), and so I went on a bit of a drive, reminding myself that I had done the right thing for him. When I got back to the house, I told Three that there was no way in hell we were giving away Mushroom, and now I'm trying to decide which of the others I will keep for me, if any of them.
For now, though, I'm feeling the loss of a baby, one that I saw right as he was born and one that chose me as His Person only a few weeks after. The kitten that greeted me happily any time I came back from the Great Outdoors, slept on my lap, and gave me little kisses and sniffed my eyelashes when he wanted me to wake up. I feel awful knowing that I have a loving dog and seven other cats in the house (oh, my God, seven cats), all with their own expressions of sweetness, and all I can think about is Tyrol and how I wish he were still here, knocking shit over and being his weird self. This will pass, I know, so I'm going to focus on what's coming: NaNo, November's challenge (to be announced later this month!), work, the holidays, more kitten gifting, etc. Maybe then I'll be okay.
* Originally, they had wanted the Duke, since he was a male, but when he met the wife, he just wasn't clicking with her. He's more of an aloof kitty, anyway, but I think it was his post-bath spasticness that turned her off. But still, she took Peachy Pie, so I'm happy. Also, I'm really hoping that, if they don't keep the name I gave her, they'll call her the nickname Miss Sassy Pants.
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