Like I said back on
Day 29 of my
Parks and Rec challenge, I was incredibly annoyed by Tom at first. It was mainly the first season, though, which I think can be somewhat excused because the writers were just figuring out who Tom was, and as the character was fleshed out from merely a bored government employee who thought he was the next Jay-Z or whatever into a motivated (albeit usually outside of work) and creative entrepreneur, it became so much easier to root for him. He wasn't perfect, obviously; his attempts to attract a woman* were cringeworthy, he is
obsessed with Having Things, and he was ruthlessly cruel to Garry, all of which are
huge issues for me. He also has this incessant need to perform for others and to receive praise for it (I mean, who
doesn't need a pat on the back once in a while, but I'd much rather see appreciation in the form of more cash per hour), but I guess that's why he's perfectly suited for (spoiler alert) a future career as a self-help guru.
Despite this, though, I identify a lot with Tom. It isn't until he is interested in something that he starts to give his all, and I'm very much the same way. I also have to be involved in a job that I'm passionate about to engaged; I tend to get very bored doing a job
just so I have a job**, and my performance suffers. I mean, I still show up and I work hard, but my attitude and desire to be there plummets. I'm a normally chipper person (annoyingly so, I've been told), so when I'm in that IDGAF mode, I'm absolutely, profoundly miserable.
But I've never felt more connected to Tom than when his Rent-A-Swag failed. He was devastated and directionless, unsure of what move he would make next. That's basically been my life the past year, and just figuring out simple things like living situations or job prospects***, and depression hit me hard. What Tom had, though, was a supportive friend group; unfortunately for me, my connection to others was severed. The ex had both physically cut me off from others but also left me with a profound distrust of others****, and I'd like to think that, if I'd had the personnel resources that Tom did, I would have bounced back much more significantly. I mean, I'm getting there - joining a writing group, trying new things, networking, etc. - but the process is much more slow in my life, which I
guess is the difference between reality and television, but whatever.
I also
adore Tom's relationship with Donna. Sure, Ann and Leslie are perfect best friends, but Tom and Donna? Actual friendship goals. I may not have the incessant need for things like they do, but the fact that they know each other so well and have such amazing commonalities that it's just natural they would be best friends. As unrealistic as it is+, their trip to Beverly Hills was just so perfect that I can overlook how much that would actually cost. Of course, in true Tom fashion, the trip was partially for himself, but the gesture was truly meant to be that final major gift to Donna, a kind of reveal for how much Tom had changed throughout the show. He was still selfish and materialistic, but he connected with people now and could share his life with them instead of pushing them away.
Finally, it is important to notice that, despite the fact that Tom is fastidious about his appearance, not at all athletic, cares and knows nothing about sports, and is of slight frame, he is only accused once of being gay. In the second season's episode, " Pawnee Zoo," he is wearing the same color shirt as one that's being handed out by the gay club,
The Bulge, and Leslie gives him a questioning look as she compares the two. This was a huge misstep for the show, a kind of cheap comedy jab that I cringe at now, but they don't mention it again. In fact, the show actually kind of glorifies a very fluid sort of sexuality or gender identity.
- Chris is not freaked out when gay men show him attention.
- Jean-Ralphio is openminded as heelllllllllllllllllllll.
- Leslie and Ann are not offended when a woman asks them if they are a couple++.
- Craig and Typhoon's attraction to each other was presented in such a natural way that it was like, "Yeah, of course, Typhoon would want to jump his bones. Who wouldn't?"
Tom definitely has a different approach to things, like glamping in "Camping" where he just ordered a bunch of things from SkyMall, or putting glitter in his face and neck cream, but he's not presented as inferior to, say, Ron Swanson. He's simply a different take, another person who just happens to be a cishet man. I don't even think his gender is that important to who he is, actually. He's just ... Tom. Unapologetically so.
* I absolutely
love that Lucy put him in his place when he invited, like, 24 different women to a party with hopes that at least one of them would go home with him that night (by handing out his keys to them and being skeezy about it). She did end up going out with him shortly afterward, which I thought was a little weird, but I guess his offbeat charm did it for her?
** The longest I've ever been someplace was close to 3.5 years with the Tennessee state government, and I actually regret leaving it, not just for financial reasons but because I would probably be in a supervisor position, if not higher, and actually doing something more than just punching in clients' data at this point. I mean, I complained about it being soul-crushing (and it totally could be on any given day) and gawwwwd were the clients frustrating.
*** Okay, these aren't
simple, per se, but they're not as difficult as, say, therapy after leaving an abusive relationship.
**** I'm still working on this, but damn, it's hard to not view everyone as a possible liar and abuser.
+ I guess since both Tom and Donna seem to have other means of getting income, it's not too far-fetched that they'd be able to spend frivolously, but somehow, so does Leslie, so ...
++ This is so different from the first season, where Ann lamented that she was Leslie's trophy wife and was obviously very uncomfortable when she realized that everyone at an event thought they were gay.
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