Isn't sleep what dead people do?

Even as I really get full-swing into the crazy that is self-publishing, my brain is coming up with other ways to make sure that I don't sleep. Ever.

A few months ago, I was having a conversation (on Facebook, nonetheless) with a friend of mine about comic book heroes. Can you just be a superhero because? Like, nothing really bad has happened to you and you haven't been bitten by a radioactive cockroach or anything. Maybe you're just really enthusiastic about fighting bad guys. I don't know. What would happen if, like Arthur from "The Tick," I decide one day to leave my accountant shoes behind and trade them in for a spandex suit and mask?

The picture of crimefighting practicality.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love me some heroes that have a rocky past. Reading Batman comics is a delight, and his interactions with the Joker are some of the most iconic stories DC has told. Also, Spike from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is one of my favorite characters of all time, and every moment he is on screen (well, minus THAT moment) gives me one more reason to feel that way. Not just because James Marsters is one of the most beautiful men on the planet, but because he maintains a bad boy attitude throughout his whole story arch, irreverent even up until his sacrificial death* at the end of the series.

Did you know this guy is over 40? Because he is. Screw you, aging.

But does everyone have to be an orphan who has been bitten by a radioactive cockroach? Do they all have to be some type of anti-hero that gets grittier with each reboot? I know you want to tell a good story that keeps people engaged from issue to issue, but seriously? Every now and then, I'd like to see the someone who's like, "You know what? I wanna fight crime. Because it's the right thing to do. And hell, my Friday nights are usually a bust, anyway." Kind of like Superman, except for those times when he's an insufferable prick**.

"I ignore inexplicable things like instant aging. I'm a catch!"

"Our clothes match, dudes. It's destiny, obvs."

Superman apparently has Catholic roots.  And has totes
watched Eddie Izzard.

Nothing says "I'm grateful" like destructive
laser eyes. 

If you'll forgive my Carrie Bradshawness here, it got me wondering: could I make something like this? My current series-in-progress' protagonist has one of the typical superhero backgrounds - her family is dead and technically so is she - so that was a no-go. I put my creative hat on and started thinking of a big metropolis my character could live in, when it hit me. I'd just model it on my current city - which could bring some interesting stories itself, since it's a still a town to me - because designing one from scratch might just send me over the edge into the loony bin, and everything just started to come together.

So, in case you were wondering, I'm giving up sleep. Forever. Because there is no other way that I'm going to actually get done what I need to get done. And also because I'm way more insane than I ever thought I was.

* Yeah, I know, he comes back in "Angel," but that whole thing kind of irritated me. Let Spike have his moment, GOD.
** Thanks to Superdickery for the images.