Well, November is almost over again, and sigh, sickness and general insanity again prevented me from finishing NaNo. Now, I got MUCH further than I did the last time I got involved, so next year, it is! Although I didn't get to "win" NaNo this year, I feel incredibly accomplished with what I did actually write. Three got to read several of the short stories that I wrote, which was really hard for me to do. It's different from posting my stuff on the internet. There's a certain anticipation that unnerves me and a level of disbelief when s/he tells me that s/he likes it. Plus, I don't think I'd get as many trolls if I just handed out little self-published 'zines to family and friends.

I don't think I'll grow as a writer until I actually get my pieces out there, but I am so incredibly nervous about it. It's like right before I let friends and family try my soaps. I had made several different bars, and both Three and I LOVED them, but I was hesitant to test my theory that they were awesome. At first, I tried with my mom, because she's a wonderful guinea pig. She'll be honest about it: "Honey, you don't ever have to make that again." And so now, I'm setting up a little website where you can buy soaps from me.

So, I am going to have to start up my writing website again. Sigh. I already have enough work to do as it is. Oh, well. I'm about to be a very busy girl.

The Call of the Wild

I was doing so well updating my NaNo word count thingy, but I am pretty sure that sort of thing would have completely driven me batty. So I stopped doing it after about a week. Working my thankless job wasn't really helping with the stress and trying to juggle finances just added to the mess.

I was very much this cat:

My sanity was kind of restored, at least partially, due to a much needed vacation into the middle of nowhere.

La musica

When I write, I have to have background noise. If it's not television (currently, I have season one of "Miami Vice" playing) or movies that I'm familiar enough with to where I don't really have to pay to much attention, I have iTunes on. I don't know how many other writers do this, but I have playlists. I usually have a general idea of what I'm going to be writing - an action scene, a romantic rendezvous, whatever - so I go through my library and try to select songs that has that feel to it. 

Since starting my series of short stories, I had a really loooooooooong list of about 300 songs, but I recently sat down and came up with "seasons," coinciding with the particular series I associate it with. And as I'm right now getting series one started, I have that playlist on the brain.

1) Simple and Clean (Kingdom Hearts theme) - Utada Hikaru

2) All That She Wants (Banghra Version) - Ace of Base

3) Voices - Russ Ballard

4) Mona Lisa Overdrive - Juno Reactor

5) Armory - Don Davis

6) Chinese Burn - Curve

7) Zero - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

8) Willow and Oz - Christophe Beck

9) Anger - Ryuichi Sakamoto

10) Anniversary of an Uninteresting Event - Deftones

11) Hummingbirds - Venus Hum

12) Two Boomers - Battlestar Galactica

13) Keep Hope Alive - The Crystal Method

14) Halo Theme (MJOLNIR Mix) - Martin O'Donnell & Michael Salvatori

I'm also that nerd who might burn these songs onto a CD and listen to them in her car (because my old-ass vehicle doesn't have MP3 capabilities. I said I MIGHT burn them. No, YOU did. I really do want to get other songs added to this list, but none strike my fancy just yet. I'll just do some browsing on the iTunes store. 

What do you guys do for inspiration? 

"In the Westworld"

Yul Brynner has always been one of my favorite actors ever, even before I knew he had starred in "The King and I." My introduction to him was through "The Ten Commandments," and despite my young age, I remember thinking, "Wait, obviously-white-but-supposed-to-be-Egyptian lady, you'd rather be with Charlton Heston than the raw awesomeness of Yul Brynner? Bitch, you be CRAZY." Or, er, something like that. With his shaved head and amazing accent, he was my sex symbol, my own version of my mother's Clark Gable or Elvis Presley, even before I knew what that was. To this day, nearly twenty years after I first saw Brynner, only one person rivals him, and his name rhymes with "Wayne Ronson."

In search of ...

In effort to get into the creative mood today, I've been watching some pretty heady movies. Earlier, it was "2001," which was ... surreal. I have the same opinion of that movie as I do of "Citizen Kane:" historically significant, but dear GOD, shoot-me-now dull. It didn't really help me, either. So I wasn't in any better position to do NaNo, and I was bored for two hours.

Afterward, I got to thinking about what inspired me. "Star Wars" was an obvious answer, but I didn't necessarily feel drawn to that, which is a little weird. I don't think I've ever NOT wanted to watch "Star Wars." Even one of the prequels*. I then thought about watching Vampire Hunter D or Buffy, but neither of those felt too good, either.

Ugh, season change. I have been sick since Thursday evening and am none too happy about it. I got behind on NaNo, and now the flow that I had going has come to a screeching halt. So, to make myself feel better, I have slept almost all day (minus time to go to work and reschedule all of my clients) and have watched three episodes of the second season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It hasn't gotten my writer's block to go away (and fleh, only three days into it), but I have enjoyed seeing some of my favorite characters as they once were. The innocence of Willow, the completely self-absorbed and oddly self-aware Cordelia, the immature jealousy of Xander, and of course, the much less experienced, cheerier Buffy. Even with this most recent viewing, I can connect with these characters and remember how I was when I was their ages. God, was that really over 10 years ago?? I never thought that I'd ever reach 21 when I was 17, let alone be nearly 28.

And now this has me thinking about my own characters. Are they going to be as relatable as Buffy and her friends? Are they going to grow, expand, change? And nowwwww, I'm all nervous and wanting to go back into my little hole where no one else sees my stuff. Why am I such a baby about this? >:(

NaNo, Day Twwoooooooo

So it's the second day of NaNo (well, technically the close of the second day, and so therefore the third day ... and I'm tired for God's sakes) and I'm already ahead of the game. I'm not quite sure how that happened, considering I was just hoping to make the minimum 1667 words per day thing happen. And oddly enough?? I really LIKE what I've done so far. The husband clandestinely read what I'd written while I was at work, and I wasn't nearly as nervous about it as I thought I would be when he told me about it. Maybe there's something to this "scribbling furiously" that I have previously discounted as a frivolous method.

Anyway, this is going to be a short post because, like I said, I'm freaking tired. Damned job. And I get to do it all over again tomorrow.